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Writer's pictureIlan Cooley

hold on

Updated: Jun 27, 2022

"I have trouble processing information, and doing routine tasks. It is hard to navigate personal situations, and read social cues. If I am getting the equivalent of a reboot, my system is slow to respond. I feel like I am constantly getting an error message."

There’s a flood warning where I live.


It is human nature to feel a bit helpless as the waters rise. The circumstances are beyond our control, yet we spring into action, and take precautions to keep people safe.


We need to be equally vigilant about keeping people safe when faced with a situation that is not only out of our control, but also beyond our comprehension.


We've been through a lot the past two years. It's been like a tsunami of professional and personal peril. Many of us didn’t have the bandwidth to understand it, let alone know how to get through it.


I’ve tried hard to keep my head above the water. So many times, I’ve thought the worst was over, only to be hit by another wave. I’m just out here treading, hoping for a lifeline, mostly trying to save myself.


We have only just started to process what we’ve been through, and are in the early stages of dealing with the aftermath. As the waters recede, we will need to do a lot of damage control and cleanup. This will take some time.


I have moments when I am completely overwhelmed by it all. The things I wanted the most, are often the hardest to deal with. I spent the past two years wanting nothing more than to have my work back, and people around, and now that they are, I have difficulty handling them.


These difficulties are psychological, and I suspect even neurological. It is like the normal pathways through my brain need to be retrained. In some cases, I feel like the connections are severed.


I have trouble processing information, and doing routine tasks. It is hard to navigate personal situations, and read social cues. If I am getting the equivalent of a reboot, my system is slow to respond. I feel like I am constantly getting an error message.


I sure hope someone is out there studying our minds (consensually). We will surely be an interesting footnote in history.


Today as the waters rise, I will remind myself that even though these circumstances are beyond my control, I will spring into action, and take precautions to keep myself safe.


I will be patient with myself, and give myself the space and grace to learn how to do things I once found easy.


I will acknowledge it is normal to feel overwhelmed, and frustrated.


I will give myself time to adjust to social interactions.


There’s an 80’s song called Running Up That Hill that recently made a comeback because of the Netflix show Stranger Things. The past seems like a much safer and simpler place, so I am all for hiding in the comfort of nostalgia. On the playlist in my mind, is another long-forgotten song, Hold On by Wilson Phillips.


Don't you know, things could change

Things could go your way

If you Hold On for one more day

Can you Hold On

Can you Hold On

Hold on for one more day





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